Season 2 Episode 9

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Advice, Opinion, Podcast, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 19-08-2015

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Season 2 Episode 9

Season 2 Episode 9 | Volunteers

This week, I give a shout out to volunteers and event organizers everywhere

 

I also take your calls like these:

  • I just got involved with a new partner, but he isn’t into kink. I’ve been doing kink forever and would like to share in my experiences with him, if not have him embrace them. How do I broach this topic and let him know my desires,.
  • I’ve never played before I’m about to do so for the first time, what should my first type of play be
  • Sex really doesn’t appeal to me. I’ve just never enjoyed it. BDSM though I do enjoy. That is what really excites me. My current partner wants to have sex while we play. I am not really into that idea though. How do I tell her I am, not interested.

In the next weeks, I’ll be doing 1-2 out-of-state interviews and then a local one. Look forward to it.

New player safety tips

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Advice, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 07-07-2013

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So you are brand new to the scene (and good for you!) or you are just curious. Like any other thing in life, we have our dangers. One thing unique about our lifestyle though is the bondage element. So extra care must be taken. This is not a post to scare you off but rather one to educate on things you can do to be more safe.

  1. Treat a first meeting of a Dom/sub with the same care you’d use on a first date. Meet in a public place. Don’t commit to play (vanilla world sex) on the first “date”. Get to know the person. If they insist on playing quickly and you are not comfortable with it, say so. If you two MUST play, do so at a club where there are other people around
  2. Have a safety call. For the first few dates, let someone know where you will be and a check in time. say you are meeting at 6pm at… I dunno.. Olive Garden. Your friend could call at 10:30pm to check in on you. Alternatively, you could have the friend call at 8:30pm with an “emergency” if you need an escape plan. Whatever you decide, make sure the friend knows where you will be. If you head over to his/her place, since you both came in separate cars, text your friend with the information of where that is. Keep your safety person in the loop. At least for the first few dates.
  3. Before playing talk about what CAN be done, not just what CAN’T be done. Kinksters are a creative bunch. For example, if you tell me that I can’t hit you with a whip or flogger, I will find something else to hit with that wasn’t covered (perhaps a bushel of roses). I probably won’t be ever invited to play again with you, but we love to find loopholes. Make sure that as a sub (or a dom) that you sit down and lay out what isn’t allowed to occur, and (at least at first) what is permitted. Too many skip this second step and while it might not lead to abuse, it can lead to hurt feelings that could have been avoided. Get to know each other a bit before getting “creative” with the negotiation.

In the end, it’s all about communication and safety. These two things are your friends when meeting new people.

The science of pain!

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Podcast | Posted on 08-06-2013

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Here at KITC we’re not just kinky, we’re geeky as well.

If you’ve ever been on the giving or receiving end of something painful, chances are you’ve wondered about how one interprets pain & how some people can take “more” pain than another or, how one thing is particularly painful to one person and to another person needs a lot more stimulation before they feel pain.

And here is where science comes in!!
Granted, this video is using childbirth vs being kicked in the balls but, if you know many mothers or many males who are bottoms, youve probably heard that the pain was extreme to tolerable. The following video explains why!


Tell us about your experiences of extreme vs mild or tolerable pain in the comments!

BDSM National Events!

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in News | Posted on 30-05-2013

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Whether you want to get out of your town or see what’s in your backyard, these events are a wonderful way to gather with people like yourself across the nation – make new friends, see old ones that have moved or even just to travel and get some more education, these are just a few of the events that go on across the USA annually.

January

SWLC – Southwest Leather Conference – Phoenix, Az
Typically held in late January, this event is known as the spiritual BDSM conference but, dont be dettered, the “woo” is more of a throbbing undercurrent of the event in which the classes and events range from demo & play to the mental and how things feel to do. This event also hosts the SW M/s & SW bootblack contests which are a blast! Whether you wanna bang a drum or gather at the Danse of Souls hook pull, this event is one to take you just a bit further beyond your current expectations and understanding of what it is that we do.

MAL – MidAtlantic Leather Weekend – Washington, DC
Held in mid-January, the Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend is an event and contest held on the east-coast that has a wonderful history. The Centaurs MC (motorcycle club) puts this event on every year and it hosts the Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather contest as well.

 

February

BOLD – Los Angeles, Ca
In late February one of the most recent events on the circuit takes over LA, BOLD is an event for male dominated heterosexual leather identified individuals. The only known male dominant-female submissive conference in the world, for those who identify as such, this may be just the conference for you!

SITC – Sin In The City – Las Vegas, Nv
SITC – a relatively newcomer to the annual events list – is scheduled to be held in 2014 on Feb 28th thru March 2nd in the sinfully delicious Las Vegas. Its inaugural year in 2013 turned out to be a hit and this kinky little host is bummed she wasnt able to make it! Hosting the Southwest Olympus Leather contest, this event also includes stimulating classes, play parties & of course vending! If you’ve never been to Vegas before, now you have a reason to go!

 

March

SPLF – South Plains Leatherfest & International Master/slave Weekend – Dallas, Tx
SPLF in Dallas is held in early March and if you are queer or a history buff or just love Leathersex, this is one you have to see to believe. Its ongoing theme is “We will not forget” which is a reflection on the history of BDSM and how far weve come & honoring those who paved the way. Included in the weekend, the Int’l M/s Contest is well known for their heartwarming opening ceremony & the event itself isnt anything to scoff at either! With over 20 classes, a coffee ‘house’, the hot bootblacking stands and the various cruising parties, its worth considering!

KinkFest – Portland, Or
Held in late March every year, Kinkfest has the 2nd largest annual BDSM convention play space in the nation with over 30,000 sqft of room to squeal and screech to your heart’s delight! With three dungeon parties, world class presenters, a huge vendor hall and back massages – even this is one I want to check out sometime!

Leather & Leis – Private Location, Hawaii
Duh, Hawaii…need I say more? Well, I guess I should. Leather & Leis has its giant dungeon open 24hrs. Oh, you need more of a reason to go? Clothing optional pool, classes & amazing rooms at a retreat? Not a cheap event but, what other reason do you need to go to Hawaii?!

 

April

Frolicon – Atlanta, GA
Ever wanted a photo of your hot scene? Frolicon is one of the extremely few events where photographs – by the staff photographers – are taken. If youre squicked out, they explain the photos belong to the convention & will only be used for promotional materials for the convention. If that still doesnt help, the Frolicon Photo staff suggest you disguise yourself in some way as it is part of the event. Not bad for those who like good photos for free! With parties, games, classes, apparently Rocky Horror (I gotta see this), ‘geeks & freaks’ this could just be the event for you!

IMSL – International Ms Leather & International Ms Bootblack – San Francisco, Ca
A weekend, in San Fran, surrounded by hot Leather women from all across the world? Why wouldnt you want to go?! Held in mid-April, IMsL/IMsBB is a contest & educational event with hot sexy Leather women – and men! – hosted in a wonderful, recently renovated, hotel and you can see the bay from the uppermost floors! Lots of the usual, classes, play parties, and blah blah but…WOMEN!!! DONT FORGET THE HOT WOMEN!!!!

 

May

BL – Beyond Leather – Ft. Lauderdale, Fl
Typically held in the 1st week of May, this event is held in the sunny beautiful Ft. Lauderdale, Fl in a 4-star hotel and hosts the Intl. Power Exchange Contest as well as the International Pony Play Championships. This event’s classes and panels cover the gambit of topics and types from spiritual to demos to rope to edge play!

DomCon/International Olympus Leather – Los Angeles, Ca
About early to mid May is DomCon – “The World’s Premier Professional and Lifestyle Domination Convention” – Takes over LA to fill their hotel with professional Dom/me’s from across the nation as well as to bring together the BDSM and Leahter community for classes, panels and events! The International Olympus Leather contest is held during this conference as well and with male & female Olympus Leather winners from all over the US, this is one contest youre gonna want to see!

Shibaricon – Chicago, Il
Rope, rope, rope, rope, rope…ROPE! Get the idea yet? Shibaricon is the event for rope enthusiasts! Classes about ties & suspensions and kinds of rope & different knots. With four days of classes, a daytime play space to practice your rope skills, hands-on tutoring from the presenters & a ton of equipment to play on, if you like rope, you’ll want to check this out in late May!

IML – International Mr Leather & International Mr Bootblack – Chicago, Il
This Memorial Day Weekend event has just finished celebrating 35 years! Initially a bar contest, IML long ago grew out of the bar and has moved on to much larger venues! This contest & hot event is legendary and no matter where you fall in the gender spectrum, you are welcome to attend and root for your favorite contestants from across the nation & world!

 

July

TITM – Thunder in the Mountians – Denver, Co
Thunder – held in mid July – with 40,000sqft of play space has THE largest play area for an annual BDSM convention in the USA. That’s not the only reason to check it out though! With over 15 presenters, 30+ classes ranging from demo’s to insight to self-advancement, the bootblack stands as well as the game night, RMLSb/CBB (Rocky Mtn Leather Sir, Leather boy & Community Bootblack) contest and the off site after party on Sunday?! – this is one event you MUST attend at LEAST once.

 

August

RMOL – Rocky Mtn. Olympus Leather –  Location of hotel given upon registration, SLC, Ut
Another relatively new event, RMOL is a small event with a HUGE heart & it feels like coming home. With 15+ classes, the awesome Contest of hot Leathermen & women, and fun play parties, this event is one you will enjoy! The local community is so warm and welcoming, you wont want to leave, be sure to check this one out sometime as well if you can!

September

BV – Beyond Vanilla – (currently) Dallas, Tx
In late September its time for Beyond Vanilla! With the help of NLA Dallas, these classes and keynotes are definitely ones you will want to try and checkout someday!

Folsom Street Fair – San Francisco, Ca
Let your kink flags fly! Think of this event as PRIDE – cept you can be naked here! – for all kinky people of every shape, size, color, gender, orientation & lifestyle. This event is one huge party with vendors galore, dance stages, public play areas, a live stage & an erotic artists area! Held in late September every year, Folsom gives you another excuse to go back to San Fran baby!

 

Is BDSM really taboo anymore?

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Opinion, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 30-11-2012

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Yes kids, you used to have to EARN you leather.

I really don’t want this post to degrade into a “back in my day….” post. I acknowledge that by most BDSM standards I am relatively new and some of the kinky practices of my generation are looked down upon by the old guard of BDSM. However, though punctuated by the record sales of Fifty Shades of Grey, BDSM has been becoming more and more accepted into our culture. Now, I for one will not argue that a more sex-positive culture is a good one. However, part of the draw of BDSM was the fact that it was an alternative lifestyle. That means that not everyone is doing it. However, we now live in an age where you can walk into a Claire’s and buy handcuff earrings(Come one girl! You aren’t fooling anyone!). Whips are given at bachelor/bachelorette parties as gifts.

Years ago, BDSM was done in secret, usually in hidden places such as basements. Now we have conventions and street festivals. We have muncheseducational camping conventions and full-blown BDSM clubs. Honestly, whether it is a good thing or not, BDSM has become more accepted by the populace as a way to spice up your love life. Admittedly I do get a sexual thrill when I top or bottom. However, part of that thrill is the fact that it is different and taboo.

Like High school, is it really cool if EVERYONE is doing it? True it’s good to fit in with the crowd. I think the turning point will be when a bride and groom (or groom/groom bride/bride) can list floggers and chains on their wedding registry. When people in formal wear (or formal leather) feel comfortable giving these kinds of things not as gag gifts, but full on legitimate gifts.

In the end, it is preferable that the world is changing in this way. Too often I am cited as an american as being a bit prudish regarding sex (tried to find a clip from the movie eurotrip). I happen to agree though. Take the “wardrobe malfunction” from the Superbowl. People flipped out. Come on people, it’s just a breast! While perhaps it was unwanted in this context, we are doing more harm to the children we are claiming to protect by demonizing it. Therefore, even though I will soon be part of the majority sexually, I welcome this new wave of BDSM acceptance. It will further us along as a society and bring us in line with the rest of the world.

 

Still this is all my opinion, what do you think?

Fetish Event Canceled

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in News, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 02-11-2012

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Video Clip

Video links are broken. Sorry about that

It’s news posts like this that make me sad. Fetish Event Canceled. Every group likes to get together and meet. Book clubs, gun clubs and even church groups have no issues meeting. I know from personal experience how difficult finding a venue for a public event can be. In this case, it seems the event organizers got a bit farther than I did. Most venues I speak with tell me flatly no and, because of the community backlash it would surely incur, I understand why. It is sad however that, even with the proper precautions in place, BDSM events are still controversial. I’ve gone so far as to get insurance, line up volunteers, determine how best to maintain the privacy of the guests and control access to avoid exposing people to it and even paying double the rate and they still decline.

The mother did have a good point about possible leftovers and having to explain it to the children. Admittedly, I think it would be a little weird to be playing in a place where young children were only hours before. However, with an army of staff, you could easily sweep the entire play space top to bottom. I’d also hope that the venue would do its own cleaning after the event. Our big convention every year is in a hotel and they make sure to clean very thoroughly afterward.

I do appreciate Lisa Helps, the City Councillor standing up for the right for any group to rent the space. I’d hope that, with the proper precautions, ANY group could take advantage of the community center. If a pro-nazi group wanted to hold a rally, I’d hope the community center wouldn’t cave like they did here. It’s an event like any other, so is a BDSM play party. What do you think?

 

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