Season 4 Episode 5

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Interview, Podcast | Posted on 13-10-2017

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Season 4 Episode 5

Firstly, I talk about the bad parts of ending a relationship and what you can do to be a better person in general and in the eyes of the people around you.

 

Then, we talk with Christian Kennedy about her new book The One Gold Slave. She was an absolute pleasure and think you all might enjoy the interview. It was a lot of fun to do. We discuss the book and her beginnings in the BDSM community (apparently, she was a dominatrix first). I’ll tell you one thing though, this book is FAR superior to Fifty Shades of Grey.

Season 4 Episode 5 | Christian Kennedy - The One Gold Slave.

Link to book: http://amzn.to/2zdQqQY

 

As always though, we answer your questions, and Christian was gracious enough to help answer them as well.

Questions this week:

  • Tim in Nevada: I love my partner with all my heart. She is perfect for me. Well… almost. There are some types of play that she simply does not enjoy. The issue here is that I love doing them. Whenever I bring up the desire to play with others to fulfill my needs, a fight ensues usually revolving around me wanting to “cheat” on her. I don’t want to lose her, but I am going crazy not being able to do certain types of play, how do I broach this?
  • Elsa in Connecticut: I am relatively new to the scene. When I go to events, I’m often too scared to actually approach people to play. However, I really want to. It’s just… hard. How do I talk to people and bring up this topic without seeming creepy?
  • Jessica in Florida: My partner requested that she become my slave. The thing is, I have no idea what to do with it. I rather like the idea, but it’s daunting to think what to do with this submission. What should I be doing? What should I have them be doing?

As always, if you’d like to submit a question for a future show, please email [email protected] or call 804-404-KINK and leave a message.

Season 4 Episode 4

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Interview, Opinion, Podcast, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 05-09-2017

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Season 4 Episode 4

Season 4 Episode 4 | TheCage.co logo

This week, I interviewed Eva from TheCage.co. They have actually been featuring my podcast for quite some time and I am grateful for it. We speak about their troubles in getting a mobile app into the app store as well as the current political climate regarding tech and BDSM. We go off on a lot of different tangents but it is an interesting discussion.

 

Questions for this week:

  • Jada in Oregon – How do I improve the overall quality of my scenes? Don’t get me wrong, they are fun, but lately, they seem stale and “the same thing” over and over again. I leave the scene wanting more but don’t really know what “more” is.
  • Samantha in Florida – I’m looking to start some kind of event in my local area. There is a lot going on admittedly. Any tips for me about how to start an event, how to run it and how to keep it running?
  • Lee in Nevada – I’ve been searching for quite some time to find someone to play with and/or have an LTR with. It’s been many years and I feel that I have reached a brick wall. I’ve had relationships and play partners, but they just don’t seem to last. Any tips you have to break through this impassable barrier.

Season 4 Episode 3

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Advice, Interview, Podcast, Product Review, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 23-06-2017

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Season 4 Episode 3

Firstly, I speak about how to build a scene. I go over some of the tricks I’ve learned and ways to make sure a scene goes smoothly.


I also get the pleasure of reviewing a product I purchased. A Behindbarz Chastity belt.

Note: They gave me a discount code if any of you would like to purchase one. Just use the promo code: RopeSquirrel50 and get £50 off (USD Conversion)

Full disclosure: BehindBarz did give me a slight discount on a belt, but there was no non-disparagement agreement. My opinions are my own and were not influenced by receiving a discount.

Introduction:

I was first introduced to this brand at Spanksgiving 2016. I was teaching a class on chastity and one of the audience members showed me his belt (with his keyholder’s permission of course 🙂 ). I fell in love with the belt. It looked so secure and the one issue I’d been having with belts is that I didn’t feel secure. I have some skill at lock picking and some of my previous models did not withstand my attempts. The only solution was the plastic locks but I liked the look of metal locks. To me, a scene isn’t complete if I feel that I can escape whenever I want. So I wanted a belt that made me truly feel helpless.

I reached out to Behindbarz and was very impressed with their product. They also allowed a significant amount of customization and that was really appreciated. For example, I requested mine in purple (and ordered matching cuffs from another person) and even had bondage attachment points put on the side of it. I elected for the Hanibal 1 model which only partially encloses the genitals to facilitate long term wear (at the advice of the Behindbarz staff.

Opening the box:

The belt was shipped quickly and arrived wrapped all pretty. I was really impressed with the presentation of the belt. I even got a laugh at the customs paperwork (it did ship from the UK) where it said the contents of the box was a metal sculpture. Still, opening the box was a treat and I rather enjoyed the experience. Because the order was rushed to get it to me in time for a presentation at Colorado LeatherFest, it is possible that one thing was overlooked. No instructions were included in mine. Being a tech guy by trade a rarely read instructions unless I have questions, but the wonderful staff was responsive to my questions via emails. I am sure that if I have any further questions, they would be happy to answer them for me.

Putting it on:

Putting the belt on was fairly straight forward. Initially, as it is with most belts, it takes some adjusting and getting used to. However, this involves bending and putting it on and seeing where it pinches. It did take a few weeks of work (though I could have done it quicker) but it is reasonable comfortable. The belt features twin cylinder key locks and I have yet to figure out how to pick those. I’ve found that wearing the “locking athletic cup” can sometimes protrude from khaki dress pants (which I wear every day). In order to avoid it being seen, I wear track pants and that seems to do the trick. However, to wear it to work, I simply have the front plate removed and then it’s fairly inconspicuous and yet fairly effective.  It takes a lot of bending before I got it comfortable, but now it’s hardly noticeable.

Overall impressions:

I really do like the product overall. It took some work to get a good fit, but in the end, it is effective. There is one area that it didn’t pass. Using a vibrator, I was able to achieve an orgasm, however, I am accustomed to vibrators and was rather aroused at the time. It wasn’t a very good orgasm, but it was possible, and I think I am in the minority of men (though I could be wrong) that uses a vibrator. However, I have yet to find a belt or cage that can prevent me from doing so. It certainly prevents sex and does it well. There really isn’t much chance of that happening. I originally thought that a more covered Hannibal model might solve the problem, but the way I achieved it was simply to vibrate the Hannibal itself so I don’t think more coverage would have hindered me.

As with all belts, you can’t really use a urinal and this in and of itself can take some getting used to. It is possible to use a urinal, but you might end up peeing on your shoes and who wants that? Use a stall. It’s the best way. There is minimal drippage afterward and a piece of toilet paper usually takes care of that effectively. Don’t forget to though or you might have a surprise in your pants later. I’ve also found that wearing underwear is not very comfortable so going commando, at least for me is ideal.

Can I get the thing off? Nope! Not without metal cutters. It is VERY secure. I truly feel helpless when I am locked in the device. I have tried to pick the lock, but so far, with no avail.

One thing I’ve actually found is that, with the Hannibal cup in place, you are fairly well armored. Actually had someone accidentally hit me in the groin (they were playing a VR game and I was walking near them) and let’s just say that I appreciated being armored. Didn’t even feel it.

Photos of me in belt

(coming soon)

Where can you get one?

The only place that I know if is their website:

http://www.behindbarz.co.uk

Be sure to use my promo code.  RopeSquirrel50 to get £50 off (USD Conversion)

 

As promised, here is the recipe for the evil hot sauce popsicle:

Season 4 Episode 3 | Hot Sauce Popsicles.

First step:  Get an ice cube tray.
Second step:  Mix hot sauce and V8.
Last step:  Freeze for 1 1/2 days.

 


However, that is not all, I also get to speak with the people responsible for the product! I’m so happy. The interview is in this week’s episode. I speak with Joe from BehindBarz.


Finally, as we always do, we answer your questions. This week:

  • David in Illinois – I think I have control issues. The idea of chastity really does turn me on (so much so that sometimes when the belt or cage comes out I get hard and can’t put it on) but when I do put it on and the keys get taken away, I’m ok at first, but then I start to get angry and upset. I really don’t know why I feel this way. I think though it might stem from being out of control. Do you have any tips to overcome this?
  • Kendra in Washington – I’ve never been a keyholder before. My female partner wanted to be locked up and have control taken away from her. I’m nothing if not a pleaser, but now I’m not sure what to do? Can you give me an idea of some activities?
  • Charles in Maine – I can’t sleep in my belt. No matter how much I adjust it I do wake up in discomfort most nights. I am currently using a belt style of chastity belt. Would I have better luck with a cage or something? Cages seem to not fit me very well either. If I make the belt too tight it’s more comfortable at first, but then not. If I make it loose, it is just uncomfortable. How can I improve the fit of my belt to make it more comfortable?

I do realize these questions are chastity heavy, but I figured they suited the guests this week.

 

Season 4 Episode 2

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Interview, Opinion, Podcast, Product Review, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 28-03-2017

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Season 4 Episode 2

This week: I discuss presenting and sharing notes about a class you attended. I actually have to drop my persona to talk about this because it personally affects me as a BDSM presenter (not so much as a podcaster)

 

I also got to speak with Janine with Warm, a product to warm up your toys before using them.

Season 4 Episode 2 | Warm product closed

As always we answer your questions:

 

  • Question 1: Kelly in Florida – I’m really kind of new to BDSM in general and I totally want to try all the things! However, I’m torn. There are some things I want to try (violet wand for example) that cost a lot and I have no idea if I will like them at all. Should I purchase a top of the line model first or should I buy cheap, knowing it may break, just in case I don’t like it?
  • Question 2: Rose in Texas – Over the past few months, the scenes with my master have become almost routine. He does know what I like and does a very good job of providing it, however even blindfolded, I know what the next thing will be usually. How can I bring back the spontaneity? I mean, I do know that I don’t like much else outside of what he does (or at least I don’t think so), and I guess I shouldn’t mess with something that isn’t broken, but I’d like to be surprised.
  • Question 3: Doug in Massachusetts – My partner and I are both switches. We don’t only play with one another, but we also play with other people. I don’t honestly mind if she plays with other people in general, my problem comes when she does things with them that we do together as well. Just so I am not being cryptic let’s pick one… say… electrical play. When she does this with others, I get jealous. I know I have no right to be, but it still affects me regardless. How do I overcome this problem?

Season 4 Episode 2 | Warm LogoSeason 4 Episode 2 | Warm Product

Full disclaimer: I was not compensated (aside from receiving a review model) to review warm, nor was I required to sign a non-disparagement agreement. My opinions are my own and I stand by them. I offered the creators to come on the show to speak about their product and was not compensated for that either.

 

It was a pleasure to try out the product. While it wouldn’t work for everything that I do kink-wise, it certainly changes how certain toys feel. It was suggested that I could warm up my rope but to be frank it would be difficult to warm an entire rope all at once. Warming it in chunks would cause the others to get cold. Therefore, unless it was significantly larger, warming rope simply isn’t practical. Other smaller toys though were really interesting. Warming up a Wartenberg wheel for example. Too often we play with the extremes or neutral temperatures. Fire play versus ice play for example. It is nice to have an in-between.

My partner got the pleasure of trying out her insertables and she did comment that it changed the experience significantly. For example, we used a glass dildo. Normally it is very cold when it is first inserted (as glass should be). After spending some time in the pouch, it was body temperature. Now normal use would cause it to warm up to begin with, but it was nice to start like that.

While I would certainly say this product will not prove to be useful to every single kinkster, it certainly is a multipurpose toy that can change an experience in a variety of types of play.

Interested in checking out warm? http://experiencewarm.com.

 

 

 

Season 4 Episode 1

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Advice, Interview, Opinion, Podcast, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 20-01-2017

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Season 4 Episode 1

2016 turns into 2017

It’s 2017! A new year, time for a new season. Let’s start it off with a bang. I talk about community leaders. This is a topic that is quite dear to my heart.

Questions this week:

This time I have two individuals from StockingsVR.com, Angel Wicky and Julia Allen who BOTH help me answer your questions

Angel WickyStockingsVR logo

1) Ashton in Kansas – I’m really into chastity. Honestly, it’s all I seem to think about. I’m just not sure where to start. I want to be locked up and taken control of. I want to be at the mercy of someone else. However, when I’ve tried it in the past, people are just too scared and just let me out when I ask, which is specifically what I don’t want. How can I get someone to help me to achieve what I am looking for in a keyholder?

2) Benny in Maine – No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to find a permanent relationship. Play partners end up being just a one-night thing and then never happen again. Can you give me any tips to meeting people? What might I be doing wrong?

3) Kendra in Ohio – I’ve always had a hard time trusting people. In fact, it has ruined several of my relationships in the past. However, while I acknowledge this, is it too much to ask for some leeway when it comes to my relationships? A period of time where I can get to trust someone before they demand it from me? Most of the relationships I have seem to think this is an unreasonable demand and it drives me crazy. What can I do?

Season 3 Episode 5

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Advice, Interview, Opinion, Podcast, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 04-10-2016

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Season 3 Episode 5

Season 3 Episode 5 | leeharrington1

This week, we talk about a variety of topics. The first is something I call ostriching or people running away from the problem. However, on the lighter side, we talk with Lee Harrington about his new book Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Realities

As always, we answer your questions:

1) Tony in Colorado. Recently, at my office, a co-worker came out as transgender. Being active
in the kink community, I couldn’t be more supportive. The thing is, my support comes from my kink
community. I know that being a transgender person doesn’t equate with being kinky but alternative
lifestyles and transgender individuals are both somewhat disenfranchised. Should I come out to her
and be supportive?
2) Alicia in Vermont. I am a transgender individual. Before I came out, I was terrified to go to
any BDSM events in general. Now I am even more afraid. What can I expect when I attend a BDSM event?
Will I be welcomed? Is there anything I should do to prepare beforehand?
3) Ben in Connecticut. I am recently out of a long term relationship. Single and ready for
action. My question is, I have been being approached by people who are quite a bit younger than me. I
am 40, they are 24. I have no problems interacting with people who are younger, but I worry about the
stigma in the vanilla world of dating someone much younger. I usually try and stay above my age or
below my age by only 5 years. I do enjoy playing with her, but am I going to be in trouble later?

 

 

Sorry again for the long break. I had a lot of things going on in my local community and very little time to do anything. However, more episodes are incoming so keep those feeds dialed and stay tuned!

Season 3 Episode 4

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Interview, Podcast, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 12-08-2016

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This week, we speak with Master Jon and Slave amendah regarding leather titleholding and we briefly touch on how to approach someone for play.IL Master slave 2014 pic

Questions for this week:

1) Kelly in Montana – My partner lately has lost all desire for kink. When I first met him, he seemed full of life and energy. We went to the parties and generally had a good time. I’m debating taking over one of the parties and with it comes the drama of being a community leader. While I am not handling it perfectly, I am handling it. However, he isn’t handling it at all despite the fact that he isn’t directly involved. In fact, he doesn’t want to go out to kink events anymore because of it. Should I stop pursuing leading the community to make things easier on him or should I find someone else? I want to be active in the community even if it is a member.

2) Joanne in Florida – My sir just collared me and we signed a slave contract. Don’t get me wrong, I am very excited about being a collared slave and I want to serve him in any way possible. In our slave contract however, there is a clause that I though sounded good at the time: “I must answer the phone when he calls”. Makes sense. However, when I am not his slave, I work in a call center where they prohibit personal calls. Once or twice he’s called during work and I have to hide phone and sneak off to a break room. I’m worried I’m going to get caught. How do I approach Master with this problem? I don’t want to break our contract so soon.

3) Ben in Texas – My Wife/Slave spent all of our savings! We were saving for a house together and she went to a casino with her friends. I have no problem with gambling whatsoever. This was a girls night out and I wasn’t supposed to attend. I did set a limit for her of $500 which she had saved so everything was fine. However, she had a few drinks and withdrew a significant portion of the savings we were saving to purchase a home. My issue isn’t the fact that she went over the limit. Behavior I can correct, and I know I can’t get the money back, but what do I do? I don’t want to send the message that I don’t trust her by taking away her debit card. It was a stupid drunken mistake. But I have two issues. How to prevent this from happening in the future and how to express my disappointment and get over it. It set us back significantly as far as owning a home. It feels like a betrayal.

 

 

Show notes: Sorry about the lack of episodes as of late. I’ve been teaching a lot, however, I never forgot about the show. More episodes to come!

Season 3 Episode 3

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Advice, Interview, Opinion, Podcast, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 25-05-2016

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Season 3 Episode 3
Season 3 Episode 3 | Tony and Christie

This week, we talk about expectations, and the scene in general. Expectations are a difficult thing to both have and for venue and other organizers to meet if they are set too high. Not saying you shouldn’t have high expectations, but if it’s your first time, at least be reasonable.

We also have a wonderful interview with two presenters that I met in Las Vegas, Tony the Grey and Christie. They are presenters from the Southeast US and I will be seeing them again at an upcoming conference. Looking forward to it!

Their website: http://www.tonythegrey.com/

 

Aggregate questions for this week:

1. How do I get over a BDSM relationship in which we continue to see each other at various venues?
2. How do I establish credibility in the scene?
3. How do I mitigate top drop?

Season 3 Episode 2

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Advice, Interview, Podcast, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 28-04-2016

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Season 3 Episode 2

Season 3 Episode 2 | Gender Negotiations

This time, we discuss negotiations, we speak with Lee Harrington about his latest book, and we answer your questions

Season 3 Episode 2 | Lee Harrington

Find Lee’s book here:


Your questions:

  • My significant other and I have been experimenting with light BDSM (Dom/sub, and light bondage), and have really been enjoying it. What are some nicknames/titles we can use that won’t come across as inappropriate or alarming outside of the bedroom. We would like to maintain our Dom/sub roles in our daily lives, without making others uncomfortable. We have even found a collar for me that looks like a necklace. Thank you.”. Bridget in North Carolina
  • I’m about to attend a BDSM event for the first time. However, I feel that I am lacking in the BDSM leather wear department. Where can I get some inexpensive leather clothing so I fit in? – Ben in Nashville TN
  • I’ve played with numerous people in the scene, but, when I do, there just doesn’t seem to be any passion. Don’t get me wrong I have a great time, and they seem to be having an amazing time, but I just don’t seem to enjoy it as much as they do. My heart just isn’t in it. How do I establish a connection with people even if it is just for a short time? Ann in California

Season 2 Episode 10

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Advice, Interview, Opinion, Podcast, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 03-09-2015

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Season 2 Episode 10

Season 2 Episode 10 | Romeo and Juliet, the tale of two clubs

This episode features an interview with a Detroit munch organizer and community leader, I talk about bridging gaps between groups and we answer questions about collars, strange fetishes and negotiations.

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This work by the Kink in the Chain Podcast is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.