Quick poll on editing style.

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Announcements, Poll | Posted on 04-26-2017


A quick poll for you all

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Now on YouTube!

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Announcements | Posted on 03-29-2017


Link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6zuHodctICfVr82me-5A3A

I figured we should branch out more. We are now live on YouTube! Exciting. Not all the episodes are there, but I’m slowly getting them uploaded. Eventually, they will ALL be up there too.


Season 4 Episode 2

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Interview, Opinion, Podcast, Product Review, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 03-28-2017

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Season 4 Episode 2

This week: I discuss presenting and sharing notes about a class you attended. I actually have to drop my persona to talk about this because it personally affects me as a BDSM presenter (not so much as a podcaster)


I also got to speak with Janine with Warm, a product to warm up your toys before using them.

Season 4 Episode 2 | Warm product closed

As always we answer your questions:


  • Question 1: Kelly in Florida – I’m really kind of new to BDSM in general and I totally want to try all the things! However, I’m torn. There are some things I want to try (violet wand for example) that cost a lot and I have no idea if I will like them at all. Should I purchase a top of the line model first or should I buy cheap, knowing it may break, just in case I don’t like it?
  • Question 2: Rose in Texas – Over the past few months, the scenes with my master have become almost routine. He does know what I like and does a very good job of providing it, however even blindfolded, I know what the next thing will be usually. How can I bring back the spontaneity? I mean, I do know that I don’t like much else outside of what he does (or at least I don’t think so), and I guess I shouldn’t mess with something that isn’t broken, but I’d like to be surprised.
  • Question 3: Doug in Massachusetts – My partner and I are both switches. We don’t only play with one another, but we also play with other people. I don’t honestly mind if she plays with other people in general, my problem comes when she does things with them that we do together as well. Just so I am not being cryptic let’s pick one… say… electrical play. When she does this with others, I get jealous. I know I have no right to be, but it still affects me regardless. How do I overcome this problem?

Season 4 Episode 2 | Warm LogoSeason 4 Episode 2 | Warm Product

Full disclaimer: I was not compensated (aside from receiving a review model) to review warm, nor was I required to sign a non-disparagement agreement. My opinions are my own and I stand by them. I offered the creators to come on the show to speak about their product and was not compensated for that either.


It was a pleasure to try out the product. While it wouldn’t work for everything that I do kink-wise, it certainly changes how certain toys feel. It was suggested that I could warm up my rope but to be frank it would be difficult to warm an entire rope all at once. Warming it in chunks would cause the others to get cold. Therefore, unless it was significantly larger, warming rope simply isn’t practical. Other smaller toys though were really interesting. Warming up a Wartenberg wheel for example. Too often we play with the extremes or neutral temperatures. Fire play versus ice play for example. It is nice to have an in-between.

My partner got the pleasure of trying out her insertables and she did comment that it changed the experience significantly. For example, we used a glass dildo. Normally it is very cold when it is first inserted (as glass should be). After spending some time in the pouch, it was body temperature. Now normal use would cause it to warm up to begin with, but it was nice to start like that.

While I would certainly say this product will not prove to be useful to every single kinkster, it certainly is a multipurpose toy that can change an experience in a variety of types of play.

Interested in checking out warm? http://experiencewarm.com.




Season 4 Episode 1

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Advice, Interview, Opinion, Podcast, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 01-20-2017

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Season 4 Episode 1

2016 turns into 2017

It’s 2017! A new year, time for a new season. Let’s start it off with a bang. I talk about community leaders. This is a topic that is quite dear to my heart.

Questions this week:

This time I have two individuals from StockingsVR.com, Angel Wicky and Julia Allen who BOTH help me answer your questions

Angel WickyStockingsVR logo

1) Ashton in Kansas – I’m really into chastity. Honestly, it’s all I seem to think about. I’m just not sure where to start. I want to be locked up and taken control of. I want to be at the mercy of someone else. However, when I’ve tried it in the past, people are just too scared and just let me out when I ask, which is specifically what I don’t want. How can I get someone to help me to achieve what I am looking for in a keyholder?

2) Benny in Maine – No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to find a permanent relationship. Play partners end up being just a one-night thing and then never happen again. Can you give me any tips to meeting people? What might I be doing wrong?

3) Kendra in Ohio – I’ve always had a hard time trusting people. In fact, it has ruined several of my relationships in the past. However, while I acknowledge this, is it too much to ask for some leeway when it comes to my relationships? A period of time where I can get to trust someone before they demand it from me? Most of the relationships I have seem to think this is an unreasonable demand and it drives me crazy. What can I do?

Season 3 Episode 5

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Advice, Interview, Opinion, Podcast, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 10-04-2016

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Season 3 Episode 5

Season 3 Episode 5 | leeharrington1

This week, we talk about a variety of topics. The first is something I call ostriching or people running away from the problem. However, on the lighter side, we talk with Lee Harrington about his new book Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Realities

As always, we answer your questions:

1) Tony in Colorado. Recently, at my office, a co-worker came out as transgender. Being active
in the kink community, I couldn’t be more supportive. The thing is, my support comes from my kink
community. I know that being a transgender person doesn’t equate with being kinky but alternative
lifestyles and transgender individuals are both somewhat disenfranchised. Should I come out to her
and be supportive?
2) Alicia in Vermont. I am a transgender individual. Before I came out, I was terrified to go to
any BDSM events in general. Now I am even more afraid. What can I expect when I attend a BDSM event?
Will I be welcomed? Is there anything I should do to prepare beforehand?
3) Ben in Connecticut. I am recently out of a long term relationship. Single and ready for
action. My question is, I have been being approached by people who are quite a bit younger than me. I
am 40, they are 24. I have no problems interacting with people who are younger, but I worry about the
stigma in the vanilla world of dating someone much younger. I usually try and stay above my age or
below my age by only 5 years. I do enjoy playing with her, but am I going to be in trouble later?



Sorry again for the long break. I had a lot of things going on in my local community and very little time to do anything. However, more episodes are incoming so keep those feeds dialed and stay tuned!

Season 3 Episode 4

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Interview, Podcast, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 08-12-2016

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This week, we speak with Master Jon and Slave amendah regarding leather titleholding and we briefly touch on how to approach someone for play.IL Master slave 2014 pic

Questions for this week:

1) Kelly in Montana – My partner lately has lost all desire for kink. When I first met him, he seemed full of life and energy. We went to the parties and generally had a good time. I’m debating taking over one of the parties and with it comes the drama of being a community leader. While I am not handling it perfectly, I am handling it. However, he isn’t handling it at all despite the fact that he isn’t directly involved. In fact, he doesn’t want to go out to kink events anymore because of it. Should I stop pursuing leading the community to make things easier on him or should I find someone else? I want to be active in the community even if it is a member.

2) Joanne in Florida – My sir just collared me and we signed a slave contract. Don’t get me wrong, I am very excited about being a collared slave and I want to serve him in any way possible. In our slave contract however, there is a clause that I though sounded good at the time: “I must answer the phone when he calls”. Makes sense. However, when I am not his slave, I work in a call center where they prohibit personal calls. Once or twice he’s called during work and I have to hide phone and sneak off to a break room. I’m worried I’m going to get caught. How do I approach Master with this problem? I don’t want to break our contract so soon.

3) Ben in Texas – My Wife/Slave spent all of our savings! We were saving for a house together and she went to a casino with her friends. I have no problem with gambling whatsoever. This was a girls night out and I wasn’t supposed to attend. I did set a limit for her of $500 which she had saved so everything was fine. However, she had a few drinks and withdrew a significant portion of the savings we were saving to purchase a home. My issue isn’t the fact that she went over the limit. Behavior I can correct, and I know I can’t get the money back, but what do I do? I don’t want to send the message that I don’t trust her by taking away her debit card. It was a stupid drunken mistake. But I have two issues. How to prevent this from happening in the future and how to express my disappointment and get over it. It set us back significantly as far as owning a home. It feels like a betrayal.



Show notes: Sorry about the lack of episodes as of late. I’ve been teaching a lot, however, I never forgot about the show. More episodes to come!

Season 3 Episode 3

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Advice, Interview, Opinion, Podcast, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 05-25-2016

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Season 3 Episode 3
Season 3 Episode 3 | Tony and Christie

This week, we talk about expectations, and the scene in general. Expectations are a difficult thing to both have and for venue and other organizers to meet if they are set too high. Not saying you shouldn’t have high expectations, but if it’s your first time, at least be reasonable.

We also have a wonderful interview with two presenters that I met in Las Vegas, Tony the Grey and Christie. They are presenters from the Southeast US and I will be seeing them again at an upcoming conference. Looking forward to it!

Their website: http://www.tonythegrey.com/


Aggregate questions for this week:

1. How do I get over a BDSM relationship in which we continue to see each other at various venues?
2. How do I establish credibility in the scene?
3. How do I mitigate top drop?

Season 3 Episode 2

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Advice, Interview, Podcast, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 04-28-2016

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Season 3 Episode 2

Season 3 Episode 2 | Gender Negotiations

This time, we discuss negotiations, we speak with Lee Harrington about his latest book, and we answer your questions

Season 3 Episode 2 | Lee Harrington

Find Lee’s book here:

Your questions:

  • My significant other and I have been experimenting with light BDSM (Dom/sub, and light bondage), and have really been enjoying it. What are some nicknames/titles we can use that won’t come across as inappropriate or alarming outside of the bedroom. We would like to maintain our Dom/sub roles in our daily lives, without making others uncomfortable. We have even found a collar for me that looks like a necklace. Thank you.”. Bridget in North Carolina
  • I’m about to attend a BDSM event for the first time. However, I feel that I am lacking in the BDSM leather wear department. Where can I get some inexpensive leather clothing so I fit in? – Ben in Nashville TN
  • I’ve played with numerous people in the scene, but, when I do, there just doesn’t seem to be any passion. Don’t get me wrong I have a great time, and they seem to be having an amazing time, but I just don’t seem to enjoy it as much as they do. My heart just isn’t in it. How do I establish a connection with people even if it is just for a short time? Ann in California

Season 3 Episode 1

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Advice, Opinion, Podcast, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 03-31-2016

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This week, I wanted to talk about misconceptions in the scene. When we first start off, there are a variety of things we think we are going to see. In the end, it just isn’t so. Also, welcome to Season 3. Sorry it took so long. Had a variety of factors not including a site breach. However, we are returning to our normal schedule.
Viewer Questions this week:
  • I’d really like to get into presenting. I feel that I have a lot to offer the BDSM community. How can I get into this field?
  • I go to parties all the time but never end up playing. I just can’t seem to find anyone to play with. How to do it?
  • How do I know someone is safe / how do I find safe people to play with / how do I be safe?


Music this week:
Techno Turtle feat. Martijn de Boer (NiGiD) by Levihica (c) 2015 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. Ft: Martijn de Boer (NiGiD)

Season 2 Episode 16

Posted by Rope Squirrel | Posted in Advice, Opinion, Podcast, Rope Squirrel | Posted on 12-18-2015

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Season 2 Episode 16 | 2015 to 2016 Transition

Well.. it is finally here! The last episode of 2015. This week I just don’t have time to get to the questions, but… I do cover vanilla perceptions of our kinky world. This will be my last episode of 2015. I shall return in early 2016 with more interviews and more kinkiness. So stay tuned and we’ll see you on the other side! The kink must continue!

Season 2 Episode 16 | BDSM in the new year


Music for this week:

Parallel World by Platinum Butterfly (c) 2015 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license.
Creative Commons License
This work by the Kink in the Chain Podcast is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.